You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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