super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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