I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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