so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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