I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize