Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
