I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
do nipples grow back?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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