Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
