I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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