Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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