Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
