The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
