please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
