new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize