Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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