You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
