are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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