when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
