I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
