I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
