hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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