There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize