Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
