I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
