Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
