I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
