but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
