yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
