I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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