would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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