Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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