I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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