I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Randomize
