I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
