Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
