u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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