grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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