I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
