I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
