You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
