SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
