if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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