Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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