So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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