and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I could make wine with my vomit
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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