I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
