She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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