I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize