Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
