thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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