Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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