i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
