She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
