Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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