Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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