But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
